Mr. Impossible

We're all over Christmas, am I right? I took the girls to the mall and it seems as if it hasn't ended. No parking, shitty attitudes, people in cars, cutting in front of us, only to have to wait for the traffic to clear in front of them before they can move. I thought we were only allowed to try to kill each other between 12/13 and 12/24.

Did I mention I have super powers? So we go to the play-yard at the mall. A walled-in, rubberized circus where children can actually explode. The girls love running around acting like animals, and I enjoy criticizing the practically absent parenting the other little monsters receive. One little monster was unusually bad. He was about 6 years old and was the perfect illustration of how crappy parenting really makes a difference. I watched in disgust while he tried to order other children around, jump, kick, punch, scream and terrorize the scene. For some reason he hadn't said or done anything to the girls. If he had, I was planning to find his parent and use their body as a stick to beat their child. I continued to stare, attempting to lift him in the air with my Jedi powers. I focussed on the little turd without breaking. Suddenly, he jumped, seemed to lift into the air, then came down appearing to use his face to break his fall. I actually thought for a second, "did I do that?"

He cried for about 7 minutes before his mom strolled out of the store she had been shopping in.